I was thinking this morning about my old life.
Really, we think all day long everyday about the dreams that pop into our thoughts. Or at least I do, not knowing for sure about you. Anyway, a lot of the time I usually go towards thoughts of ‘why do I bother dreaming’. Most of the time I’m hesitant to implement what I see playing out in my head.
Like when I was married to my first husband and things got rough. I’d imagine what it would be like living somewhere on my own.
Man those feelings felt good! And yet, they scared the crap out of me!
Sure there’d be no more fighting or feeling miserable, but then I’d automatically go to thoughts of failing because I wouldn’t have access to his income. Or I’d be alone living without a man. Or I’d be a single mother working a full time job. What I never let myself understand is that I didn’t have access to his money or love anyway so there was a false image taking place in my head. And I pretty much raised my child on my own.
Reality was, I paid the bills all on my own. So if I was thinking rationally I would have been able to see I was succeeding even when I was married to him.
And then, this morning Joel Osteen Ministries popped on over via email. You gotta love how the universe works. 🙂
Are you ready for increase in your life today? You may desire God’s increase, but the Bible says we have not because we ask not. Are you asking for God’s blessing? Are you asking Him to enlarge your territory? When you ask God to bless you, your faith is activated which opens the door for Him to work in your life.Open your heart today and ask for God’s blessing, ask for His discernment and wisdom. Ask Him to make you more effective on your job; ask Him to increase the quality of your relationships; ask for more people to love and encourage. Ask Him to enlarge your territory so that you can be a greater blessing to those around you. As you take a step of faith in prayer today, God will hear you. He’ll open doors that no man can close and pour out His abundance in every area of your life!
In those days, even now, I asked for God and the Angels help all the time. In fact, I begged for it. It’s just that when they sent in the troops I turned them away. Reason being, I couldn’t fathom the amount of goodness they were showing I could have IF I were willing to change my circumstances and live outside the crazy comfort zone I had created for myself.
That comfort zone was killing me even though it was all I knew.
TODAY, be willing to see the REAL TRUTH.
The ego has a way of camouflaging our thoughts making the picture playing out called our life what it’s not. Truth is, when I was finally willing to give God and the Angels their chance I took it and ran. But that chance pulled me completely out of my not so good comfort zone sending me down to Georgia, allowing me to think that was where the rest of my life would play out.
Actually it wasn’t. Sending me back to Minnesota again. But, as they say—the rest is history.
Now I can see I’d NEVER go back to that old life.
Turns out they were absolutely correct!
They knew what to do to get me to the place I wanted to be but didn’t know I wanted to be here. Even though I spent a lot of those days crying and very afraid I kept going even when I felt completely out of control. And totally out of my world of reality.
Three short years later, now settled into my new single life as a mother and self employed entrepreneur, I was able to respond right away to their help. This time they gave me a new husband who happens to be the best guy ever!! And my best friend!! Although, in the beginning he didn’t look much like that to me. Funny how the Angels could see his good side, and yet, all I focused on were qualities of him that I was familiar with- alcoholism. Not that he was an alcoholic. I just happen to focus on his drinking rather than his humor and curiosity. Thankfully, I was willing to at least let them prove he was a good guy before I retreated to that awful comfort zone that wasn’t working for me.
They DO know what they’re doing. It was mainly me thinking I knew better than them that kept me trapped in hell the whole time.
That hell was fifteen years ago. And today, when I look back it feels like I’m watching a TV screen of a completely different person. Sure I still have struggles.
My life is not perfect.
But when I’m honest, I make a very good living being able to have most everything I want (if I allow it). Just so happens, what I do now is nothing I thought I’d be doing.
That ego tends to raise it’s ugly demeanor every now and again making me think “it”/”I” knows best. But the evidence shows when I surrender to God and the Angels following their lead, no matter how scary it might feel or how crazy their thinking is, I always end up in a better place looking back wondering how I ever lived in that life I left behind.
Sometimes it feels like an albatross in the room- ‘metaphorically to mean a psychological burden that feels like a curse’ when you’re forced into making decisions based on circumstances rather than opportunities. Really that albatross is a blessing disguised only by the thoughts of the ego.
Now, when I ask for help, of course I’m still a little apprehensive. Things like I’m not good enough pop in. Probably always will. Although, I try to look at the opportunities to keep myself moving forward because the evidence has proven each step I take just keeps getting better and better. 🙂
How about you? Are you willing to ask to see the real truth?? The one the ego is working so diligently to hide from you. What evidence do you have proving that each step you’ve taken, even while being afraid moving out of your comfort zone is providing you a better life??
If you’re struggling….please keep asking to unmask the ego. You will see the flawed pictures. You will see the real truth you were hiding all along. 🙂
Wishing you God and Angel blessings!!