This picture originated while driving telling myself (using the scientific method of talking to yourself in third party)
“I love you Kelli!“
Kelli, you’re very Intelligent
You are Strong
You are Compassionate
She is Kind
You are Understanding
You are very Loving
Kelli, you are loved!
We’re taught early on Healing Words go a long way to help someone.
Told, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Reminded, Be kind with your words, you never know what an individual has had to endure.
Growing up we’re less likely to hear- “remind yourself how beautiful smart and loving you are today.”
We’re less likely to be told, “Healing words help us so tell yourself how creative, intelligent and strong you are even before you tell someone else the same thing!”
I was in the grocery store checking out when I noticed the gal helping me had the most beautiful smile. So I told her- “you have such a great smile.” She beamed her smile even bigger!! You could physically see how pleased she was hearing she had a great smile.
When we hit a road block, we’re more likely to fall apart when there’s no one around to understand our predicament. The reaction is to feel abandoned lonely and paralyzed, because nothing seems able to fix us.
When we don’t have anyone to comfort us telling us we’re beautiful, loving and kind, reminding us everything is going to be fine you feel depressed and trapped held in agony limbo waiting to hear the correct words to make you feel better.
Instead of hearing kind loving words in our heads, we voice how strange odd weird and different we are. We actually says those types of words 90% more often than kind, loving reassuring words.
Since we don’t normally encourage ourselves, we stay stuck.
What needs to be realized is, healing comes from within.
- Originating from our hearts.
- It’s starts in the head.
- In Our thoughts.
- Not from the voice of another.
Sure, it’s nice to hear you’re beautiful kind loving and compassionate from someone else. Like the gal who loved hearing she had a great smile.
Loving words make us feel good!
Except…If you’re not used to hearing those words from you, you won’t trust them coming from someone else.
Now, instead of smiling while you say thank you….you think, huh?? Really?? Then from your head, you quietly launch into….Huh, I don’t feel that way. I don’t feel loved or appreciated or even kind. I’m not beautiful… look at how much weight I’ve gained… Look at how thin my hair is… Look at how depressed I feel....the list expands into all the areas we feel are wrong.
Instead of feeling content, you contemplate even more hurt and pain not accepting any of the loving kind words that were mentioned.
Based on research reported from a Harvard business review* shows when we refer to ourselves in a third party talking as if you are a friend we can shift easily. Taking it even further using energy healing techniques actually looking at ourselves in the mirror, the shift is ever more likely. Possibly helping you to move out of depression, or predicaments like self confidence issues illness and even disease much better than other treatments.
They found that cueing people to reflect on intense emotional experiences using their names and non-first-person pronouns such as “you” or “he” or “she” consistently helped them control their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
When I’m upset I found myself going over all the things that felt out of my control.
- How am I going to get all this done??
- You’re such a dork, how could you forget …..
- This is such an easy concept and yet, you the dumbass, can’t figure it out.
Sound familiar? Can you relate?
Now I work more at relating to me in the third party actually visualizing myself standing next to me telling me “Kelli, you’re so beautiful!”
Kelli, you can accomplish anything you set your mind to just by admitting you are intelligent.
Kelli, take a moment to center yourself and ask “what is your next right move.”
Kelli, you are the strongest person I know. Is what you are thinking really true??
I find the more I talk to myself in the third party referring to myself by name, the better able I am to move out of the old computer programs of non-content I have (we all have) running in the background of my brain.
The ones that tell us we are-
- Not good enough
- Not liked, loved or appreciated
- Not safe
It’s important to know who you are. And more Important to know who you are not.
When we realize who we’re not. Instead of focusing on what someone else has or does, we finally focus on what we are.
There’s always people telling us who we are but people didn’t breathe life into you. God did.
When he breathed life into you he gave you traits individual to only you. People telling you how beautiful you are is great. But, if you don’t believe you’re beautiful, then those are just words.
You have to believe you’re special before anyone can help to make a difference for you.
Two of the most empowering emotions are Appreciation and Joy.
You look backwards and forwards trying to learn to appreciate your lessons. When all there is to learn is there is no mistakes. Only experiences.
To feel bad about what has been done is simply useless. The only reason to look back at things you’re not pleased about is to look at what you’ve learned through the experience.
The only reason to look forward is to reward yourself for the unique individual you are. And to do that, praise is the only complement that works.
There’s no perfect person. There’s just the best version of you. When you become your best version, you attract the best Of the best from everyone.
God has given you a greatness all your own. It’s time you tell yourself how great you are.
*Pronouns matter when psyching yourself up, by Ozlem Ayduk and Ethan Kross in Harvard Business Review, February 6, 2015.