I woke up this morning with a remembrance of what a friend of mine said to me one day while I was smoking a cigarette.
Yes, I smoked.
For many years.
Not something that I’m really proud of, but I am a child of the 70’s if that helps define anything.
My friend Mike looked at me and said “Kelli, you are one of the strongest women I know, and yet, you let those little sticks control your life.” That was the beginning to the end for my smoking days. He was right. I am a strong, very capable woman, even at that time in my life. However, that day, after he said that to me, I came to realise I did not respect myself.
How could I if every day, every hour, I was doing something that jeopardized my health and could/would kill me.
Smoking, drug or alcohol addictions, overeating or eating foods you know are not good for you, it all boils down to one thing….having no respect for your human body nor your life.
It may seem harsh to say, but disrespecting myself is what I was doing.
Even overeating, or eating sweets, or processed foods, foods that are not good for you is done out of disrespect.
It’s not because you want to reward yourself with a treat for something well done. Sugar kills too. Don’t be fooled by its appearance. It may not leave the lasting smell of a cigarette or the lasting effects to the lungs, but it still leaves lasting effects none the less. Being overweight or being diabetic comes to mind, not to mention more.
I’m not talking about eating sugary foods to pick on any one person. I just wanted to be clear when someone might think that none of this pertains to them cuz they’ve never done anything wrong with their body, but yet they eat, “not so good foods”. You may think you’re not disrespecting yourself if you haven’t smoked, done drugs, or any other bad things. And yet, you just put a donut in your mouth or drank a can of soda. It is none the less, still a type of disrespect.
So is being around people or having a partner that may not be the best for you. Like a person that stays with someone that abuses you. It all is the same….it ends up being a lack of respect for oneself.
I came to realise every time I smoked I was not really caring about myself or what it could be doing to anyone around me. I really didn’t care. Not about me nor about how it affected anyone around me. All of it was a form of disrespect.
What I’ve learned since quitting is that I’m more important than self creating a disease or being a willingly participant putting a bunch of chemicals into my body. Or putting others in harms way.
I realized I deserved to be healthy.
To look good instead of all wrinkled up from the effects of smoking.
To be happy, not depressed from the effects of smoking, eating wrong, or in a bad relationship with someone.
I’m not saying I’m perfect in anyway.
I’m still far from that. And have realized that there is no one that is or can be perfect.
We will always be making some sort of mistakes. Which, with this realization, enabled me to forgive myself for what I was doing to myself and to others that might have been affected by my actions.
I’ve since learned I’m worth every effort to make my life the best it can be. If that means I need to change something that does not suit me then I’ve learned, not without heartache at times that I need to do this.
I’ve learned there is a God that will help in any endeavor if you want it bad enough.
If, you ask for help.
From the time, I started respecting myself I was able to see that there was help sent to save me. I wasn’t always able to see it at the time, but none the less it arrived and proved over and over that it was real.
I was able to quit smoking. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Although, it taught me a valuable lesson. And that is when you believe you are worth it there is nothing that you will fail at.
I’ve learned you can overcome any challenge presented no matter what it is if you believe in yourself and the almighty powers of the heavens above. Nothing is a challenge if you don’t’make it that way.
You can overcome anything if you’re willing to change.
TODAY, look at how you may be disrespecting yourself.
Ask if your behavior is something that’s actually benefitting you or hindering you.
Look at the real aspect of it.
Don’t let yourself be fooled.
Ask for help in the area that you need help with.
And then…..let the help come the way it needs to in order for you to change what needs be.
In order for you to show yourself respect say, you’ll make a concerted effort to do whatever it takes to rectify whatever is your challenge.
Then let the help begin. 🙂